Gratitude. What else can I write about this week? It’s been so beautiful to hear people use the holiday as a chance to appreciate their blessings and the generosity of life even amidst the challenges and struggles.
I am also very grateful. But I was wondering how gratitude translates into our everyday lives. In many religions gratitude is expressed through donating to others, by contributing a portion of your income or by leaving food or gifts for those less fortunate. There have been times when I have felt bad that I couldn’t, or didn’t contribute more to others. There are so many people, causes, organizations that are worthwhile.
Then I remembered a question a participant posed to Viet Namese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh at a retreat I attended many years ago. The person asked him if he gave money to beggars. His answer was that he didn’t, but he looked at them directly, acknowledged them, saw them, met them. The phrase that stayed with me was “don’t avert your eyes.”
So whether or not I express my gratitude by dropping some coins in the cup, or clicking the donation box or sending a check to the Alameda Food Bank, I remember to look directly and see the real person, see the divine person whose path may be harsh but whose life matters.
Here’s a little inspiration. I am grateful that a friend sent me this link to a wonderful video about gratitude. I think the faces, the eyes, and the diversity of beauty will fill your heart. Gratitude.
Kindle version NOW available!
One of the survivors of the horrendous fire in Berkeley a few days before Thanksgiving was referred to me via the Red Cross. He is a grad student at UC/B from a war torn country. He, like all the other occupants of 39 apartments, lost everything, except his violin, his most prized possession. He told me how much less anxious he feels now without any of the possessions that he used to be overly concerned about, how much free-er, and grateful! Wow! What a humbling perspective. I shared this with the 17 people gathered at the pot luck at my apartment.
It is admittedly very difficult sometimes to look ‘a street person’ in the eye while refusing to give them money. It requires a kind of courageous compassion that is certainly worth striving for. Whoever said that life was easy?!?
Thank you Jill for your comment. It is a stark reminder of the resilience of the human spirit, and the grace that someone like you was there to hear him.
Life does take courage, Richard. Thank you. And of course, you have to use your best judgment. Sometimes you feel a person’s appreciation for your recognition, or a friendly word, that tells them you see them as a person who matters. Sometimes your instinct tells you that your willingness to connect might be seen as an intrusion or even challenge. There is not simple formula to replace being present, in your heart, and keep it simple.
I can appreciate the thoughts and messages here. Giving of ones self has so much more meaning than the “traditional” way of gift exchanging. I much prefer to give than to receive. Our community has bins to donate food, toys, and clothing items to the local people who cannot afford some of the basic necessities in life. I am happy to know that I can donate to these and know that some folks nearby are being helped. I prefer these kind of donations to those where there are “middle-men”, not knowing how much of the good or gifts are actually going to those in need. It’s a shame that society has put so much emphasis on (what I sometimes call) “gluttony and greed” during the holiday season, where it should be more about sharing love and kindness and compassion to those who don’t fall into the “traditional” family holiday mold. My wish is for peace & harmony to prevail within our own lives and within those around us, both in our communities, country, and all over the world.
Thanks for your comment and your kind actions. Being a spiritual person does not have to be fancy. Every kind thought, kind word, kind action makes a difference. The Dalai Lama said his religion is kindness. I guess we don’t need his validation but it is a nice reminder of the simplicity of giving.