Mani Feniger

The Kennedys – Part 1

 With the recent passing of Ted Kennedy and Eunice Kennedy Schriver, it seems like a good time to reflect on the Enneagram panorama of the Kennedy clan in relation to their influence on America.

As a family the Kennedys illustrate one of the fundamental principles of ego development: that through adaptation each person finds their niche in the family system. This means that the infant, with the plasticity of its growing brain, develops a particular Enneatype (Enneagram type) as part of its adaptation to the family it is born into. This appears to occur in infancy, as strange as that seems.

            In short, there are no rules about which Enneatype a child might adopt, but there are tendencies. In the case of the Kennedys, papa Joe was highly ambitious. After becoming wealthy bootlegging liquor and dealing in Hollywood, Joe wanted above all to gain respect of the Boston elite. However hard he tried, though, he was still seen as a crass immigrant and excluded by the social brahmins. His drive for success, not just money, and the way he instilled his values in his children, speaks to me of a Three on the Enneagram, a “Pragmatist”. Joe definitely loved hobnobbing with movie stars and gaining public attention. His dream was that one of his sons would become President of the United States.

            Joseph Patrick Kennedy, Jr., or Joe Jr., was his father’s favorite choice to become the family star. He played football, rugby and crew, graduated from Harvard. He was outgoing, gregarious and well liked. In 1940 he served as a delegate at the Democratic National Convention. We do not know much about Joe, Jr., but he must have been an impressive person to have had the full confidence of his father. He completed twenty-five combat missions over the English Channel in World War II and had lost numerous colleagues, including his own co-pilot. He was eligible to return home, but instead volunteered for an extremely dangerous secret mission. I suspect that he was Standard Bearer (Type One) on the Enneagram. He had completed the resume-building aspect of service, and if he were a Three with political ambitions he may have considered that sufficient. But he stayed on and took extra risks because he felt he was more qualified to perform the tasks than anyone else…and he was probably right. Unfortunately, his experimental plane exploded in flight, and he was killed.

            John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the next brother in line and one we got to know well. While serving his second term in the United States Senate, he ran for President in 1960. I attended a campaign rally for him in Oakland. My father brought me along to join him and his union pals in supporting their great hope of defeating Nixon. The place was packed and we sat up in the nosebleed section. The air was filled with a festive, celebrative atmosphere. Nat King Cole sang to warm up the crowd; then local politicians spoke to get us focused on politics. Finally, Kennedy showed up and commanded this huge hall with amazing confidence and grace. When he nailed his tag line, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!” the crowd went nuts.  He had the movie-star looks, the charisma, and an air of certain success about him, in short a Pragmatist (Type Three) at the pinnacle of his powers. I believe he was a Sexual Three, not just because of his womanizing, but his intensity and masculinity as well.

            The Kennedys illustrate a typical family progression. Primogeniture (the ascendancy of the first born to power and wealth) works in terms of personality as well as inheritance. Whoever is born first takes the power position in the family if it is available (meaning that the family is not too destructive or dysfunctional to allow it). In the Kennedy family Joe and Jack, a One and a Three, took the two most powerful places. When Bobby came along he was not going to be the family Star (Joe) or Hero (Jack), so he adapted to the next available niche (yes, very much like an ecosystem), the Risk Assessor (Type Six). From this position he shared his integrity and intelligence and could participate in the family’s success by helping the others. He became a loyal confidant for Jack, and, as Attorney General, watched out for his brother’ back. This is a very healthy expression of the second-tier niche, which, in less healthy individuals, may be expressed as hostility and jealousy.

            Then there was Teddy, the last of nine kids. He adapted to the least competitive position, a Consensus Finder or Peacemaker (Type Nine). Often the youngest child in a large family or a child born some time after it’s siblings will adapt to this niche. Nine children are malleable, fitting into whatever program already exists in the family. They seek comfort and tranquility, and don’t compete with their more aggressive siblings for power or attention. This does not mean their eventual success is limited. Ted became the most effective legislator and spokesman for the underprivileged that the family produced. I’ll present more on Ted in a future blog.

            We do not know a lot about the Kennedy women, but it is clear that Eunice was a Standard Bearer (Type One). She watched her sister Rosemary be shut away because of mental retardation and decided this was wrong. She fought for the rights of the mentally impaired and successfully launched the Special Olympics. Type One women are not intimidated by challenge or afraid to take action, and Eunice used her strength and integrity to aid those least able to fend for themselves.

            To conclude, the Kennedy family had a (probable)One, Three, Six, and Nine among the men, and the order of their Enneatype sequence was not accidental or predetermined. It was a result of adaptation within the structure of the family.

Michael Gardner, guest blogger

Welcome, friends, to Sat’s Enneagram Blog. My given name is Michael Gardner, but about 30 years ago I was spiritually initiated with the name Anand Satyam (“Bliss of ultimate truth”) by my teacher Bhagwan Rajneesh. Of course, the grandiosity soon faded and I became just Sat (pronounced “sot”, no jokes please). In the pursuit of truth about the Enneagram, it seemed like a good idea to dust off the old handle and apply it here.

Let me begin by addressing the question: Why would anyone be interested in a blog by me? I cannot guarantee that everything here will be scientifically proven truth, but at least it won’t be regurgitated tripe from other web sites, books or blogs. I was introduced to the Enneagram in Claudio Naranjo’s Sat (Seekers After Truth) Group in 1971, and have been working since then deepening my understanding. Hopefully, Mani and I have arrived at a perspective that is practical, helpful, and penetrating. Over time a community has grown up around our work and we are constantly amazed at the depth of insight and nuance of understanding shown by our students. However, you don’t have to be profound to give feedback on these blogs. We like hearing from you. There are no dumb questions.

One of my favorite hobbies is watching (as a “Five” I am always watching) the unfolding of celebrity egos in the public domain. While most Enneagram authors pay lip service to “famous people”, it is like an afterthought to their theoretical exposition—and the problem with the Enneagram world is too much ungrounded theory, and not enough real life examples of the behaviors and tendencies that define the personality types. The advantage of observing public figures is that it can help fill in our knowledge of the ways egos are expressed with a shared experience. If we are all agreed that William Shatner, for instance, is a social Three, it allows us to know one way that social threes present themselves. Through this kind of sharing the Enneagram becomes alive and present in our immediate world.

So one of my purposes is to help correct the lack of consensus on typing and the confusion about different types. With a little practice you can develop a good “gut sense”, or feeling for different types. Many of our students are excellent typers (sort for ego-type identifiers), and sometimes challenge us and change our opinions on particular celebrities. The fact is that no one is perfect at this art, but through collaboration and discussion we can all get better. And it is important to get better. The Enneagram is only helpful to the extent that we type correctly. Otherwise, we will misinterpret the motives and behaviors of those around us and add to the confusion rather than to the clarity. Future installments will deal with specific aspects of the Enneagram, as illustrated by real people. Please join me in this as an ongoing exploration.

Hi again,

The summer is almost over (for those of us in the Bay Area it really never came) and you are probably stepping up the pace and returning to Fall activities. Michael and I are also shifting gears and planning our annual Enneagram group with panels of exemplars who talk about their type, how it is expressed, its challenges and its gifts. Here at home, we don’t ever get through a dinner without some Enneagram flashes: Did Obama move too fast because as a Three he kept his eye on the goal but may have skipped a few steps of preparation, assuming his staff would work it out? Wasn’t Hillary a great One when she stood her ground and let her anger show when asked her husband’s opinion about something?

So it’s time to let you in on the conversation. Starting next week, Michael, who is really the world expert on typing people (in my opinion) and is a great observer (being a Five himself), is going to step into this blog and start sharing his own observations, a look at the world through the insightful, exciting Enneagram lens.

So write in your own questions and observations, and email me if you want to find out more about our upcoming Enneagram group, introductory evening Thursday Oct. 1 at Seventh Heaven Yoga Center in Berkeley, CA.

Have you ever noticed that when you are away from home in an unfamiliar environment, you feel more free? Of course, when you travel, you might be uncomfortable, or tired or get lost. But you are more willing to accept those things and understand that you are in a different culture and can’t expect the same responses and don’t have control over many situations.

When we were on a train in India, the train stopped in the middle of the night and just sat there for two hours (and of course we couldn’t figure out how to turn down the bright bare light glaring at us). Tired as we were, we just had to laugh and say, oh well, that’s India. But here in California, if the BART train is delayed, there is not only a sense of impatience, but also a feeling that it is wrong. Trains should run on time. There are reasons that we believe that, and of course, justification because people expect us at a certain time. But watch what that attitude sets in motion.

How can you spend this very moment, when the train is delayed, your friend cancels at the last minute, you forgot the chart that was supposed to go with your presentation, or they run out of vegetarian lasagna when you are out for your birthday dinner? How does it affect you when things are not as you wished, or expected? How do you breathe? What do you see? What do you hear?

Can you recall a time when you were on a journey and responded to a difficult situation differently than you would have in your home community? What came of it?

Just some food for thought for today. Responses are welcomed.

Welcome to this blog. I am so excited about being able to stay in contact, create dialogues and exchange ideas. I am new at this technology so bear with me as I get up to speed. I will start by choosing insightful quotes and offering them as a way to observe your own life over the week, another lens for discovery.

So we’ve started.